If you answered pandas, you’d be correct!

If you’re lucky enough to go to a zoo with pandas, you’ll know you’re in the right spot when you hear the chorus of “awwww!” coming from people surrounding their enclosure. Don’t be fooled, though. Pandas get by on their looks alone. What’s the phrase? Oh yes:

“Why are the pretty ones so dumb?”

This rings true for this unfortunate species. Pandas are closely related to bears, and what do bears eat? Well, mostly whatever they can get their hands on.


Bears will eat meat and almost anything they can get their fuzzy paws on, and so should their bichromatic brethren. However, pandas choose to subsist solely on bamboo. Nothing should ever solely subsist on bamboo. There is very little nutrition in there, you silly wanna-bears!

This leads into the next problem. When seeking out their delicious meals, the female panda has been known to climb to great heights in search of deliciously crunchy bamboo. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but their mating window is tinier than a circus tightrope, so the boys need to be at the right place at the right time.

But what’s that? She’s 40 feet in the air munching on a bamboo chute?

“Yeah, no. I’m not climbing up there!” the male says and gives up on his chance to better his species. Or, does not mating better the species?

The laziness and strange dietary habits of this creature have contributed to their status as a vulnerable species.

But, let’s say you were able to get two pandas together at exactly the right time, there’s a very large chance they won’t even know what to do.

That’s right. Pandas will often “forget” how to mate! I don’t think I need to elaborate on why this is a bad thing.

Pandas are doing a great job of ensuring the demise of their own species, but they aren’t entirely to blame. Habitat destruction and human meddling has also contributed significantly to their status, but being dumb doesn’t help.

But look at that face!


Give us a shout today at 513-563-PLAN (7526) or book online to talk with us. We’ll make sure your financial plans don’t wind up on the endangered list!

Nikki Earley, CFP®